I was Afraid
I was lost,
Now I’m scared
I’ve been Found.
And the
air up
here’s
soft so
I’ve kept my ear
to the
ground.
Well I’ve been lost for a while
and now that I’m found I’ve
been looking for you and to me that’s profound.
It’s like,
“where
have
you been?”
Well I’ve been there too.
and,
“where
you
been since?”
I’ve been waiting for you.
I’ve
quite
thought of leaving,
but I believe
I’ve been left
and my beliefs
are
deceiving but
I’m deceived
by
what’s left.
I haven’t quite gotten the patience just yet for waiting around for you, now I’m hopeless. It’s been three times back and then forth… camp and then back, and so this is my fourth. If this telegram gets to you, I’m probably done, but I’ve left something else for you in the middle of the sun. I wanted to come down and tell you what I’ve found but I think I’ll just let the words talk for themselves now.
I’m just trying to do the right thing with the tools that I’m given. My thoughts are like lightening in this storm that I’m living. Sometimes I have a mission to guide in the children. Sometimes I know that I’m just a face in a crowd of millions. I don’t know anyone who’s not like me, and I can’t think of someone who’s exactly the same. I have a name that makes me different but remember I’m gifted with life, love, and expression.
Every
rhyme i
write
starts
with
you. you are him
and she her
he is
true.
but
how
do
you
do?
while
you’re
around
the
corner
waiting
to
surprise
us
with
“are “could
you and you use
alright?” another
iced
cappucino,
sir?”
Your wife’s
at
home
with your ancestor.
They’re
slimy little
bastards,
you know the kind.
But we’re looking for people
who have trouble with
rhymes.
They just can’t find the right word to
rhyme.
I wanted
to speak
my mind,
but I was
handcuffed
to the bed
with a gun
pointed at my head,
so I sang them instead.
It went like this:
“well i wanted
to know you
so badly that
I would have
forgotten my
self.”
(well i wanted
to know you
so badly that
i would have
forgotten my
self.) and
when I
closed the
portal
leading to
the short
hole
at the end
of the earth,
I wanted to scream my worth.
I wanted to give birth. I wanted to give birth
to
a
new
way
of
life
or
a
new
way
to
live.
My time to receive is over.
Now is my time to give. Ok,
number 1:
how do
you give
something
that
you
don’t have?
number 2:
what is a gift
if
it has to be
forced
on people?
why the fuck am i here
because it’s not to fulfill my ego.
That’s for goddamn sure.
I’m standing in the door between
Australia and Egypt and they’re starting to
look the same.
I’m going to
start
writing under a different name
like
Mark Twain
because
I’m tired
of
reading
my name
on
bad
music.
I have
a voice
and
everything
depends
on
how I use it,
and
I
try
to
make
my
writing
conclusive,
but no…
it makes
you
want to be
abusive, don’t it?
You want to pick me up right
now and shake me and say,
“how can you talk so
much without actually
saying a goddamn
thing?”
I can tell you,
I think.
I don’t put ink on paper,
i put paper on ink.
I pour some down,
place one on the
ground
and step on it
until it
speaks to me. No, I’m kidding. It doesn’t talk.
But words do appear.
man, I’m not fibbing.
I don’t do a damned thing.
I just say this stuff, I don’t make it up. And “god” makes me, so “god’s” fucked up.
He makes me say
it. He writes
these rhymes.
Line
after line,
I feel like I’m in
kindergarten
again
they’re so simplistic.
It’s nap time,
where’s my cot?
I’m going to bed.
I’ll write again later,
ink on my feet and gun to my head.
You’re giving me provocation:
provocative apocalypse
in
sovereign nations.
We rocking it.
The talking lips will
turn into talking heads.
the walking dead will
hold
a place
above us
on the fog.
We said
we’d
live
our life
according to our
morals
and
values.
Put down how
you
count
two and two.
It equals five
but
by the time we
realize
there’s more to life
than
what… dichotomous relationships.
Your faith insists you love thy neighbor, but not if he’s gay?
I pray for rain
but I’m afraid
that it already came.
The same day,
I
remain nameless.
I
speak
my peace
on beats
and then
retreat.
I believe
in the image
of a
Basil on Baker’s street
but
I’m out of luck
when
we’re ruled by Ratigan.
It matters
as a
fathom pattern.
Running at them you can sit and watch them
s c a t t e r .
That’s the fact of the matter.
As a matter of fact,
the mad hatter is back.
It’s tax cuts to corporation s; our patterns off track.
Go to your happy place,
I’ll meet you there
(would you
share?)
and to vastly save face
I’m going to ask we
say grace.
It’s a breath of fresh air.
You’d
best
look
both
ways
before
you
cross
me,
softy.
Fucking
with
me
can
be
costly,
honestly.
(look both ways before you cross me softy, fucking with me can be costly, honestly.)
JON WATTS BATTLING:
that’s unheard of.
I hear
he cries
a lot
and likes
girls
above
our cultural norms.
His living informs
because
he’s living in dorms
and he’s
encouraging storms
to rain
down
a-
cid
and
soot.
I put
my
foot down,
living
around a
sound lounge.
His noun is hound.
His verb is swerve.
He’s hit every curb you can think from here to merge.
My
change
in
rhythm
says
that individuals know to but I’m like,
“if i could leave it,
I wouldn’t have to show you.”
So few people are thinking things through.
So few of us are really in tune with what’s true.
chase you in a golf cart yelling, “call the zoo!”
I’ll do
my
time
for
ancestoral
crimes
and
still not really know what you went through.
Go to your happy place,
I’ll meet you
there (would you
share?)
and to
vastly
save
face
I’m
going
to
ask
we
say
grace.
It’s a
breath
of
fresh
air.
Take this.
Use it.
Come back and tell me why it’s only my good
friends that listen to my music
and
if you’ve never
heard of
Jon
Watts
before, that’s
because
I’m
not
in
stores
so come a knockin’ at my door.
I’m
a whole lot stronger than I used to be
but
there’s a couple of things in me that you don’t see.
I’m not a failure
but sometimes
I fail.
I’m
out of
fantasies
I’ve got to
grab by the tail,
so it’s
balls to the
wall and
face in
the dirt.
I’m wasting a w a y.
It tastes like it hurts.
What
I’ve
made
for
today
is
a
game
full
of
words
and
a
name
for
the
nerds
that
remains
unheard.
I prefer
to be
living
outdoors
and
performing
chores
that
are
mine
(not yours)
because
I’m bored of your life
so
I’ve stopped watching television
, telling the living to
LIVE their own story.
I’m
bored.
We sit around
and
talk about
nature
as if
we weren’t
natural.
That’s full
of
hate:
our insatiable
lust to
control
all
things not us
(indigenous cultures
and such).
Put em up
Politicians and
guns
for our
daughters and
sons
to
debate.
What’s at stake
is their
lungs
and their
eyes
and their
lives
and their
love
and their
sun
and their
moon
and their
world
and their
squirrels
and their
parks
and their
homes
and their
art
and their
bones
and their
smart
and their
farms
and the
faraway
hugs
from their
arms,
not
explosions
of
ours
with
nuclear
arms
in a
faraway
fading
fast
future
of
stars.
It’s guzzled away in our cars.
and paved over by shopping marts.
at least we’re living
but barely alive
run to your happy place
got to survive.
got to survive got to survive
run to your happy place
got to survive.
got to survive got to survive
go to your happy place.
I’ll meet you there
(would you share?)
and to vastly save face
I’m going to ask we say grace
Let me see the starlight again. I have a blind faith in you.
give me something to work with. I need to know it’s worth it. Beginning at birth, the whole world isn’t perfect. Born into a culture whose intentions are quite off, I’m hoping to mention to listeners I write often. A molotov coffin that’s lost in Boston holds a candle to the cost of one fallen ofspring: born at age twenty-one to a widow and “god’s” son, he’d love to cuddle up and befuddle the lost ones. He’s tossed under a boss whose greek for thunder. He’s lost his curiosity but seeks some wonder. He’s got no limbs left, trading meat for lumber. He’s trying to put the wood back, considering lovers.
so throw a penny his way as you pass by. he’ll take it today but it’s the last time. Hold him in your thoughts as you pray for his past crimes or let him live oblivious to that last line.
I had a boy. he had something that no one could see. He gave me a piece so I could be free. he said, “you are the world. You’ve got something that no one could see. Would you please give this out so we can be free?”
If he fell then he wouldn’t be bleeding. You can smell it like it’s ready to be eaten.
So throw a penny his way as you pass by. he’ll take it today but it’s the last time. Hold him in your thoughts as you pray for his past crimes or let him live oblivious to that last line. he wouldn’t last nine lives so he’s glad he’s not a cat. In fact, he’s not a kitten. It’s quite fitting that he’s a dog. You look up to see him glisten, but he’s caught up in a fog. Trying to read whats written but he can’t read. Man, please put down that book now before you get a cramp. these people all stare because he can’t breathe but he still blows against the wind to stop this damned breeze.
I had a boy. he had something that no one could see. He gave me a piece so I could be free. he said, “you are the world. You’ve got something that no one could see. Would you please give this out so we can be free?”
His hands are out. his arms are open. His eyes are shot. His ears are broken. he knows you well and you’ve never met him. It’s nearly impossible to upset him. It’s some words of wisdom, and maybe ‘good day’ but he fought the system and here may he lay. Here may he lay until come along a brighter tomorrow, a world without sorrow: tomorrow.
i saw him once, watching the waves against the rocks. The poor man swayed and then collapsed and when I ran to his aid, he put his pen to the page and said, “son, sing this when you get back.” he sang:
Let me see the starlight again. I have a blind faith in you.
Well I’m sick and tired of these bullshit games. I’ll tell you how I feel and then you do the same. If they don’t coincide, it’s alright, don’t worry. I’m looking for a girl who I like, there’s no hurry. Now surely you don’t need walls up for me and surely you won’t get hurt by yours truly and sure we didn’t start off that smoothly but I’m sure we can find a cure… you’re such a cutie. Well you play the game well, you’re the MVP and there are guys out there who envy me because you’re mine now, but you’re not mine… wait till they find out. If this is a game let’s take a time out.
I’ve got deep seeded feelings for you. No, wait, I love you. No wait, that’s not true… i just want to be above you. (you fool, those aren’t the words you say to her face) oh, do you want to spend the night at my place?
She’s got flaws but we’ve all got them and she’s got me in her claws and I can’t stop them. I need a book of written laws to combat the problem but I’m holding up my hands and I can’t stop the goblins.
She’s pretty committed to indifference about me and my philosophy. It’s obvious without her saying to me she doesn’t care… I’m aware, because she’s looking at me with blank stares. It’s the same glare. I’m going to stick to her like glue, stick to her shoe. Sick, through and through… fit for the movement, flew the coop. Then, to the new friends through the hoop. when who are you is central to losing… I guess its true then, that you’re moving on. I’m long gone. It hasn’t happened yet, but I knew it all along. I wouldn’t say I love you but i’d put it in a song. I was wrong. I was wrong. Look, I know you had to test me cause you’ve had problems with the rest of these guys. I suggest that it’s wise to say it before I leave. I may not be appeased, but i’ve got love in my sleeve and I’m having trouble breathing. the reason I’m even here isn’t even clear. I hold you close to see you’re near. If I could tell you how I feel then i would do it but I’d lose it. I’m building a tunnel and one day I’ll run through it.
She’s got flaws but we’ve all got them and she’s got me in her claws and I can’t stop them. I need a book of written laws to combat the problem but I’m holding up my hands and I can’t stop the goblins.